Most Thankful

As I reflect on this last year and all of it's struggles, I am humbled by all who have supported me. Strangers, family, old friends, new friends, you all have been my strength when I have physically and/or mentally run out. You help pick me up when I am broken, like God just sent you right when I needed you most. You encourage me and tell me how strong I am when I feel my weakest. You walk with me even when you don't understand my path.

Thank you to my parents, who give me the shirt off their back. Thank you for letting me into your home, I know it's not always easy! Thank you for your patience and constant love and support. 

Thank you Jessica, my sister, and best friend. For always listening when I need to vent. (About living with mom and dad) (just kidding!) Thank you for your beautiful boys that always help me feel better, and your husband who treats me like I was born his flesh. I am lucky to have you and your whole family by my side. 

I could list all my friends who have been amazing to me, but I won't. I hope you know who you are and how much you mean to me, in every little small way you help! 

I want to especially thank all those who donated to my medical fundraiser. Come high and low I was overwhelmed by the love and generosity of my supporters. I am ashamed I haven't yet thanked each of you individually yet. I hope you feel me giving you a big giant hug!! From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! 

I don't know what the future holds, surely more trials and hard times, continued ups and downs, battles and victories, but with all of your support I know I can make it through the worst. I would be lying if I said life was easy right now, but I still have faith that one day I will return to the full "Tara" again. 

I hope everyone's hearts are as full as their bellies today! I love you all, Happy Thanksgiving! 

Tara

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever." 1 Chronicles 16:34

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation." Romans 5:3-4

Sunny days; EHCD week 4

Well I have been busy. I didn't know I was going to feel so busy while not working! But it's all been extremely worth while. I've been finishing up my testing (actually today was my last day of just the testing part) with some pretty tough days during that. I had to get oxygen one day I reacted so bad to mold testing. I certainly can't deny mold is a big issue for me, and for that reason I know I have not wasted my time or money at the Environmental Health Center of Dallas. I also learned chemicals, Enviromental allergens and foods give me reproduction of my pain, burning and tingling, headaches, foggy head/light-headedness and knee pain. With each of them affecting me a little differently. Just about everything I reacted to makes my darn left knee hurt. Grr! But fear not, now I have the individualized end point (the dose when I neutralize the allergen and no longer react to them) to each of the things I react to that I will (or have already) take antigen shots for to desensitize myself and ultimately get rid of my symptoms over time. 

I will say I was skeptical before starting treatment of the methods, price, time involved etc that entailed getting treatment at EHCD. Well I have to sing Dr Rea's praises because this man is a pioneer in the seemingly small and inadequately addressed field of Environmental Medicine. He is THE MAN of Environmental Medicine! He starts every follow up visit with "well what did we learn?" ha and is surprisingly sharp for his advanced age. But he still sees every patient being treated at EHCD and runs the whole place. My Physical Therapist brain cringes every time I see him walk with horrible gait, but I refrain from giving him any gait advice lol. I still have met only one other person there from the DFW area, only one, and the rest travel from around the nation, or world (there's a few from other countries) with a very big range of degree of illness. Some are extremely sick :( I have added all my EHCD friends to my healing prayers. Feel free to do the same if that's within your beliefs. 

I've learned a lot more about my illness. Well kind of, because in some ways I'm even more uncertain. But it doesn't matter anymore, because now I know how I'm going to get better. And I am fully confident I will. Period. And I am on my way. 

What I know: I have chronic viruses and mold toxicity that could account for all my symptoms. Possibly some other more outside the box/controversial things attributing too. (if you are also sick and/or curious what all I'm talking about feel free to ask me). Am I positive I have Lyme Disease, no. Is it likely that I have had exposure in the past to it and/or other co-infections, maybe? However it has come to light that Lyme may not be my biggest problem right now whether I have had it or not. Regardless something triggered some kind of event activating illness several years ago. I've had varying degrees of illness/issues since. I've got a few theories as to what certain triggers or issues happened, like at some point I can't deny mold exposure. I now know I have chemical sensitivity, so fragrances, cleaners, air fresheners etc give me problems.  I know all this sounds kind of crazy to someone unfamiliar with living through chronic illnesses. I don't really care not to be rude. :) This is my life and my truth as best I know it. I stand by my decisions to never give up and keep searching for the answers that will help me. If you know me, you would expect nothing less than my stubborn self fighting back with unrelenting strength. No illness can ever take that away from me!

I also saw a couple weeks ago a Naturopathic Doctor who works with Dr Lee Cowden, one of the top treating/researching Lyme Doctora. I can see both Physicians conjointly if I want in the future. I left his office feeling like I found the missing piece of my healing puzzle, and this man was going to help me become Tara again. Sometimes I just know, like God telling or reassuring me. Yeah we talk, it's pretty cool. Ha! Anyways, he had impressive technology called Zyto. Let's just sum it up by saying I learned a lot in my 3 hour initial evaluation. He adjusted some supplements for things like adrenal support, things to knock down my high viruses, mycotoxins etc. I also started the Cowden Lyme herbals protocol (developed by dr Lee Cowden). Doing good on that so far. 

The good news, if your still reading with me during my rambling, is I am improving! And I just know I am on the path of full healing and the verge of a huge turnaround. My energy is improving, pain is much slower progress, and my brain seems to be working a little better. The rest of this week I am doing treatments to help me, and going to continue exercising to build my strength back up. I start back at work next week and that will be my big test. I pray I don't have any set backs and have given myself enough time to be strong enough to handle it. Stay tuned. Meanwhile I am soo ready to be out enjoying life again! I have finally started getting out of the house more. I feel like I have missed out on a lot and I don't want to miss anything anymore. I definately have a new appreciation for energy, endurance, strength, and stamina. I still have to pace myself to a degree (eye roll, who's got time for that) but I am just glad I can enjoy some life again. So be sure to invite me to your next fun activity/outing :)

Maybe this picture from Environmental Health Center Dallas helps..

And I like this one too..

Fun fact of the day: There are 78 more days until Christmas! 

Rude fact of the day: I am laying by the pool right now as I type this🙊☀️

Have a blessed day y'all!

Tara

7 beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (1 Corinthians 13:7 ASV)

EHCD week 1

So I am 4 days into Detox (I get a kick out of saying that) and well nothing is detoxed yet. I didn't realize the testing process would be so long, intensive or hard for me to tolerate. So it will likely take longer than expected. I have to get through testing before I can order antigen treatment (takes about 2 weeks to get that). The antigens will help me slowly rid the body of what it is I'm allergic to like molds etc. The doctor thinks I will need antigen shots (likely) a couple years, but really it's until I'm better. I am still waiting on some blood work tests to see if I would benefit from other treatments there like oxygen therapy, gamaglobulin, ALF. And still figuring out what all those are/do/cost. I should get my blood test results and know more about that tomorrow. I expect I will be a candidate for a few things, but will have to decide if it's worth the cost. I have started IV vitamins, glutathione etc to help my symptoms. 

So I mentioned I'm not better (yet). Testing the molds is hard for me to tolerate. Literally the first one I did skin testing on I thought I was going to pass out. I got really dizzy, a bad headache and worse body pains. I couldn't think the rest of the afternoon. For that reason I am spacing my mold testing out so I'm not on the floor :) 

Meanwhile I have continued to stay off my antibiotics under my own decision. I am going to share what I am doing right now, but please don't judge me, period. Unless you have lived what I am going through you have no idea..nuff said. So I am self educating on lots of things right now, or trying to. Lyme herbals, herbal protocols, essential oils, biofilm treatments and protocols (as I am chronic). It's overwhelming but I will have help soon. I am going to a very well experienced Lyme Literate Naturopathic Doctor next week to help guide me. Back to what I am doing now, since stopping antibiotics I feel certainly no worse, and maybe a tad better. I decided to go back on OTC citricidal and biofilm defense recommended by another Naturopath I have seen. I also just got A-Bart a powerful liquid to treat bartonella. I have taken it 2 days and boy that stuff is strong! One drop..that's all it takes and all I've got for now. I decided I wanted to start Lyme treatments again, listening carefully to my body, while doing the environmental treatment because I don't feel like the environmental stuff is all of the puzzle. And I want to get 100%. Or at least in the all A's you know what I'm saying!?! I am off work, which is weird by the way, and focused on fully healing myself. I would also prefer to start something new and get a bad first herx done and over before I go back to work. I think about my patients and co-workers a lot. I'll be back soon enough! 

I just started some doing some sauna and exercise (to tolerance) again which I am excited about. It's slow and I'm not the patient type but I have learned my lessons on when to stop from pushing too hard in the past. I want my FULL strength back. Or I'll take some more for now at least!

On a positive note I have zero allergic reaction the dogs. Not that I would ever get rid of my healing buddy Bear :) He is a little shy for pictures lol

I hope everyone has a blessed week! 

-Tara 

"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for Jehovah, even Jehovah, is my strength and song; and he is become my salvation."

Isaiah 12:2 ASV

Recharged and ready for more

Well I am back from vacation and MAN did I need it. It was the best week of my life so far, and I can't describe how grateful I am for having the opportunity to go. I had a big improvement in my symptoms and I soaked up every second of the sun, beach and water. I left for my trip tired, losing my strength physically and mentally to fight. I was runing on fumes and desperate to build up some kind of immune system before starting detox. So I stopped antibiotics. I have been off my oral antibiotics now for over 3 weeks after giving them 4 months. I was tired of continuing to feel worse. The thing about this disease is there is not a manual that works for everyone. So I am learning to listen to my body and signs from God to guide my health decisions. I felt like I could not take one more blow or thing making me worse so I stopped the antibiotics. The IV injections I got (megativamen, hydrogen peroxide and glutathione) before leaving for vacations definately helped too. For the out if pocket cost it better! I am so glad I got a reminder of some much needed normalcy and living on my vacation and now I am ready to fight again! BRING IT ON.

Tomorrow I start at the Environmental Health Center of Dallas (EHCD) that I have posted about before. I'm anxious and excited, and don't like having to take FMLA from work. But something must be done. I can't financially afford to go, but my health can't afford not to go if you know what I mean. Thank you so much for those thay have continued to donate to my fundraiser. I am blessed to say my expenses for tomorrow (I start at 930 and will be there all day) should be entirely covered! I will stretch the money as far as possible, but if you have been procrastinating and want to donate now is the time!

Here is the link:

https://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/tara-s-lyme-fight-fund/213367

If anyone is interested, I found this chart that has a pretty good breakdown of symptoms for Lyme and different co-infections. 

http://lymediseaseaustralia.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/9z-comparison-lyme-disease-and-co-infections-symptom-chart.pdf 

A good article I found that studied Lyme and the disability affects compared to other chronic and severe diseases: 

http://lymedisease.org/news/lyme_disease_views/news-largest-survey-of-chronic-lyme-finds-high-disability-unemployment-medical-costs.html

Wish me luck tomorrow!! Here is one of the sunset pics from my trip. Love,

Tara

14 Heal me, O Jehovah, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise. (Jeremiah 17:14 ASV)

Lyme Doctor #2?

I met a new doctor that has been treating Lyme for 14 years this week. So far I'm impressed. I am getting IV megavitamins right now and tomorrow will get hydrogen peroxide and glutathione IV's. Which like everything it seems that can help me, is not covered by insurance. But I'll try anything to help me feel alive before vacation! I want to play in the water, walk on sand and heaven forbid even play a little sand volleyball (I hope!). I need life breathed back into this 92 feeling 29 year old body!

Not only is having Lyme really, I mean REALLY tough at times, but the very FEW doctors that treat it have different approaches and opinions on what works and what doesn't. You really have to learn to be your own patient advocate, do your homework and then just try what the expert thinks. If it doesn't work it's on to the next I suppose. And hope you don't run out of options or go bankrupt before finding what helps. (No joke) I've got more researching and listening to my body to do before I figure out which Lyme doctor I go with after my trip. And after my trip I start my detox treatments at Environmental Health Center Dallas. I am trying to be more excited about the possibility of improvement but the super heavy financial burden weighs on me. Oh well, can't take money with you when you die right?! 

Unrelated to my health, I said goodbye to my last living Grandfather this past weekend. I am glad he is in a better place but he sure will be missed. I plan to bring him home a vial of sand to keep by his ashes since he played pro baseball out in Florida back in his day. Love you gramps! 

So here is to hoping my IV's today and tomorrow make a BIG difference! I will be happy with any, I mean any help. I feel like I'm running on fumes here lol!

Hope everyone has a blessed day!

Love,

Tara

14 Salute one another with a kiss of love. Peace be unto you all that are in Christ. (1 Peter 5:14 ASV)

4th Doctor visit and what's next

Last Monday I went to my 4th visit with my LLMD (Lyme literate medical doctor). I came fully armed with research and a lot of questions. Here's the summary:

1.) BARTONELLA

Or also referred to as BLO (Bartonella like organisms) in the Lyme world, and aka cat scratch fever. This is one of the common co-infections that gets transmitted with Lyme. Or I guess you can get it from a scratch of an infected animal and some sources say mites, and I forget what other biting insects. It comes with it's own symptom list that can be as bad or even worse than Lyme. My doc and I are pretty certain I have this and it is the reason my feet feel like I'm standing on fire everyday. We had not addressed this yet medically (no treatment for it yet). So we switched one antibiotic for another of my cocktail of 3 as well as added a (expensive of course) neutraceutical. Hopefully I won't herx too bad with the change up. 

2.) CHELATION THERAPY

I had been on this over 2 months, about 2 and 1/2 months now using DMSA to pull out my heavy medals. This is likely another big reason (along with unaddressed bartonella) that I was getting worse. I can not tolerate chelation, it's too hard on me so we decided to stop. This girl's gotta be able to keep working. 

3.) THE MOLD AND MEDAL "ONION"

My LLMD feels strongly that with my toxic mold and heavy medals we cannot get down to the root of the problem, the Lyme. It was explained to me to think of it like an onion, the outer layer is the mold and medals and you can't get down to the Lyme inside until you fully address and eliminate those. We have tried the longer slower less expensive route and I could not tolerate it. So my doc wants to me to go to THE expert in environmental medicine that as I understand it, created this detox program that is suppose to be one of the best.

4) ENVIRONMENTAL HEALTH CENTER OF DALLAS

www.ehcd.com

This is where I need to go next to do intensive detox for molds and medals. Basically you go there every day and do what you need like a 9-5 thing Monday-Friday or Saturday (and I'm complicated so probably a few weeks) until your better. Sounds great right?! Well this place is not in network with any insurance so you have to pay upfront cash/charge. They don't even offer payment plans nor care credit card. And depending on how much you do/need it can add up very quickly. A very rough estimate of what it could end up costing me for all I would need to help me is 10k-20k. Here is their estimate price sheet:

The possibility of this place in my future what my biggest reason I started my fundraiser recently. I have a lot of medical debt charged already, and I will probably open a new credit card where I can get no interest for a year to use at EHCD. I start the second week of September. I have researched to see if other places provide similar programs and are covered by insurance. The only other options I found are also cash based. If anyone knows of any places that have programs similar please let me know. To give to my fundraiser and help me get the next treatment I need to get better see my page:

https://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/tara-s-lyme-fight-fund/213367

Thanks again for all your love and support! 

Tara

"Search me, O God, and know my heart: Try me, and know my thoughts; And see if there be any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting."

Psalm 139:23-24 ASV

I call this, but you look so normal

My favorite compliment is you look so normal, you don't look sick! Makes me wonder if I should have went into acting :) but I was far too shy growing up to do that! Luckily I grew out of a lot of it. I just wanted to try and share bits and pieces of a day in my Lyme life..

This is what I spend at least 30 minutes or more preparing each weekend for the upcoming week. It is one week of the Meds and suppliments I have to take.

This is my box of stuff I take. I pull from each bottle to sort my week ahead. I made a speadsheet now to follow with all I take on it each day. Otherwise I can't keep track of how much of what all to take when.

Then I transfer one day's worth of pills to this handy container I keep in my purse. It saves me from forgetting to take the Meds when I was at home and left before taking them or something like that. Lessons learned!

My wild and crazy Saturday nights. Don't be jealous! :)

Since I like to end on a positive note, here is me and cutie Cade. My nephews are better medicine than any bottle can provide :) 

There, a now doesn't that face just make you feel better?! (Not mine haha)

I go to my Lyme doctor tomorrow for a follow up visit and I am praying for some changes in my plan that make a difference. Thank you for those that have already donated, your contributions will go toward my cost of my appointment tomorrow! To donate please see the link in my last post. 

Love,

Tara

"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my partion...therefore I hope in him!"

La 3:22-24 NKJV